Saturday, June 16, 2012

Getting by

Saturday night, when it seems that almost nothing ever happens unless I arrange it. And sometimes I do - but not tonight. Partly because I know I'll be busy tomorrow, so I didn't organise anything else - and partly because it was obviously going to be a freezing cold wet wintry night, so staying warm at home seemed like a good idea.
            And on the whole, it was. I wrote up my food blog, had a good curry dinner, washed my hair, and watched rather a lot of mildly amusing TV.
             I do tend to watch considerably more TV, or DVDs, than I used to. They provide faces and voices and distraction, especially over dinner. I listen to the radio a lot more, too, while I'm having breakfast, ironing, washing up, cooking. And I leave more lights on - I can't bear moving around a dark house.
              I seem to be managing pretty well at the moment, at least as long as I keep busy at the mundane level of everyday life - working, feeding myself and other people, reading, talking on the phone, seeing friends, going shopping, playing house. I take my time doing all these things, and time passes.

Mary Cassatt, Reading Le Figaro, 1878

1 comment:

  1. My evening pleasure this winter is to get BBC TV series out from the library, on DVD. I've watched Pride and Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, Cranford, and am about to indulge in Cranford Revisited. And then of course, I find myself diving back into the books . . .
    it sounds as if you are still in transition, between feeling the emptiness of your home without Harvey, and one day feeling that the house is full after all, because the gaping hole in your heart has found solace and new rhythms. From having gone through this, I've found that the change does happen, and I surprise myself by how much I love my own company. Wishing you well on these winter evenings. . .