Saturday, October 22, 2011


It's 24 years today since my younger son, Patrick, died at 18. I wasn't sure if there'd be any messages from friends, but there were, and it made all the difference.

Harvey and I always went to visit his tree in the Botanic Gardens on his birthday, his anniversary, and Christmas Eve, but of course in recent years I've asked a friend to come with me instead, and I did that again this year.

I took a posy from the garden - a camellia for this house he never saw, forget-me-nots, hearts-ease, rosemary for remembrance, lemon balm for his love of good food, a sturdy stock, and mock orange blosson for the wedding he never had.

The tree is so tall now,
I have to reach up
to lodge the flowers
between its branches.

Later another friend, who has the knack of always turning up at the right time, came round with lilacs from her garden and bread from her oven. So I was very well looked after.


  1. What a terribly sad event, and how comforting to have friends who remember in such loving ways. Sending you warm thoughts on this anniversary, Anne.

  2. Thank you for sharing such a personal event. Friendship's can be the wind beneath our wings in times such as these. You are in my thoughts.

  3. Very special to read this Anne. Thank you for sharing it. As someone from a different land, I struggled for breath with all the wall to wall A.B. rugby this weekend, so it is very affirming to read and acknowledge such deeply personal and real *other* living going on. Warmest wishes to you Anne for this anniversary and the coming days.