Thursday, December 1, 2011

The ghosts of Christmas past

As I'm sure everyone who reads this blog will understand, I'm not exactly looking forward to Christmas this year. I'll be with friends on the day itself, of course, but that still leaves Christmas Eve, and Boxing Day, and all the rest of it. We used to love Boxing Day, we would sit around and nibble on leftovers and read our Christmas books, outside in the sunny garden if we were lucky, with a glass of Harvey's home-made ginger beer.
          Of course I'll Manage, as other widows and widowers do. I'll Take Steps to make sure I've got things to do and people to see. But the ghosts of Christmas past will inevitably come crowding in, all the same.
           Meanwhile the roses are out. My own Remember Me rose, the one we planted two gardens ago for Patrick, has definitely survived last summer's ordeal by weedkiller, but it's not going to do much in the way of flowering this year. On Monday my heighbour Jenn came over to bring me the first bud from hers. Now it's gone from its deep russet early colour to full salmony bloom. Here it is with a photo from Farm Road days.


  1. Yes, Christmas is a painful time for those who have been separated or bereaved. A friend of mine in Auckland used to hold an evening potluck on Christmas Day for women who were 'Christmas refugees'. It was surprising how many turned up, and what a good time we all had, being unpartnered or otherwise not having a good Christmas.

    Tauhara holds a Chrissiefest - a retreat of a week or more, to scoop up the Christmas refugees also. I went one year, and found it comforting to be in community and away from shops and other reminders.

    Maybe the ghosts just need to be welcomed in, with a glass of wine and a cake left out for them.

  2. Hi Anne I 've been thinking of you ever since reading this posting on 2 December. This month's navigation is a tough one on so many levels - Harvey's anniversary in its own right, let alone Christmas ...
    Thinking of you throughout these December days, and each of the 'a year ago we/I was...' thoughts.